#for context; the first one apparently dates from june
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#;ooc#ooc#;mun art#/its still a heavy wip!! and much bigger but#/im honestly kind of woaww over how wips can change if u let them take some air for some time#for context; the first one apparently dates from june#/in any case yes it is y.elan#AND!! a lil c.onstantine i doodled in v.r some days ago#no context for that one i just love him
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Señorita Nothingburger
🎶When you see her, say a prayer /And kiss your heart arse goodbye 🎶
Lauren 2.0. Wow: after The Paid Companion, The Wannabe. Unlike the first round of revelations, this time the output has been totally disappointing. Very few things and zero context, which I have to say I was totally expecting, because it didn't exactly fit the agenda being pushed by Marple (amen!). Lightning never strikes the same place twice, right? And then, we had The Follow - a very interesting foolish, yet telling move: but on this, a bit further down the road, mind you.
So, let's ask ourselves along with La Ciccone: '¿Quién es esa niña?' For once, his IG follow has been very explicit:
Leading whoever to this account...
Elix Wellness is offering a very specific range of treatments, of which the one for hangovers really got me interested:
And yeah, even if I have apparently been scooped out by Marple on this one (my bad for sitting on it for a day), shamelessly using my patented methods (that is a lame joke), Lauren 2.0's LinkedIn account is, for once, very clear:
Her contract as a Travel RN was over by August 2023, as pointed out across the street:
And then she decided to go independent and open her own company. So, by far not a hooker - decent education, even, at NYU.
Lo and behold, who had Ibuprofen in his hotel room, in May 2023, when they were spotted on that NY Soho terrace, having lunch (didn't we laugh? you bet we did, it was one of my first posts in this fandom!)? S, of course. Hangovers could use both ibuprofen and a good IV cleansing treatment ( see above - such a common offering in that particular town, soon to be out of fashion - but hey: if she believes it can bring money, not my problem).
But... dating her? Not a chance in hell. You see, just a cursory survey of her IG account between the moment her contract as a Travel Registered Nurse was over and the moment her company started to be active, reveals a very busy Mediterranean summer, hitting all the possible cliches:
Before ending that contract, even, some days in Paris with her real interest, (again) checking all the tourist/romantic tropes you can imagine, from dining at the Au pied de cochon restaurant to having a quick macaron bite in the Luxembourg Gardens...
... then off to Paros, a posh island Greek destination, very much in vogue with the creative crowd, followed by (we are talking mandatory island hopping, here) Mykonos (unapologetically posh and very expensive, LGBTQ+ friendly destination - also beloved by the glam and glitz crowd)
Oh, hello Soho Roc House, part of the Soho Houses network - rings a bell? What a small world, really.
... a couple of days in Rome, followed by some quality family time (Mom and Pop, at a minimum) in Puglia, then Croatia (again, the glam crowd of Hvar island), back to Paris for a girls' trip (Montmartre, the Eiffel Tower and a couple other spots in the Marais and around the Rue de Rivoli - cliche forever):
... then back in Rome for cacio e pepe pasta, Piazza Navona and the Pantheon oculus (artsy girl, told you), followed by Positano and Capri (with Mom and Dad, again). Nothing to write home about, but still trying to sell herself as an up and coming influencer of sorts, perhaps.
Nowhere near S for the entire 2023 Sassenach Summer Tour. How is this equating with dating, that is really beyond me. Seriously. For instance, just before the second sighting, in NYC (June 10, 2023), she was having fun in the Algarve region and Lisbon (of course, Portugal). Probably posted those pics upon her return to NYC:
Dating? More like convenient pretext. He knew people would hang around that hotel (fans, autograph hunters, etc), especially during OL promo peak time. And he knew someone will take that pic, which was then conveniently placed in *urv's lap, for lengthy talks and more innuendo. Just as the first sighting was conveniently placed in Marple's inbox, to see if topic garners interest and sticks around/can be reused for further shits and giggles. Innuendo and nothing more would be my best bet: neither *urv, nor Marple had ANY positive idea about who she was, back at the time.
And now, the third drop was again placed in Marple's inbox, because attention had to be redirected to this particular gossip topic, in rather dire circumstances following Lauren 1.0.
And for your information, she does not follow S and he does not follow her. But he follows her newly opened joint: hangovers are a bitch, I know.
Why? I think it is clear enough why.
Who dunnit? I will let you draw your own conclusions, really. Again, it is rather plain to see. My belief is that this is not TPTB. And for once, I do not think he met her via Raya. Nope.
I took one for the team and listened to that podcast (if you are very foolish or brave or foolishly brave, you can do the same here: https://youtu.be/vBmcnhe2kwg?si=rRu5YCLHS3eZhuFs ). I mean, what is WRONG with those women? That is legit 14 year old bullshit talk about relationships (or the immature impossibility to have a satisfying one). They essentially explain in that podcast they have trouble decoding 'the man' in some relationships and the way they play out. I was laughing so violently my abs (or lack of them) hurt. At some point, I even thought it was some sort of sophisticated second degree, but NO (#cringe).
Also, I think I should be burning my pineapple pajama summer pants. Seriously. If you listen to the whole bullshit, you'll see there is no damn way to substantiate anything based on that. Zero connection.
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Hello, please don't take this the wrong way but when I first started getting into comics I really disliked Ollie for how he treated/reacted to Roy and the whole drug thing but many years and more experience later (I know the characters a bit better now and stopped reading bad takes on tumblr) I'm realising that theres a lot more nuance and apparently they've got a really close relationship these days?? So I was just wondering if you might be able to explain that to me because I'd love to get into more arrow stuff (honestly mostly fanficton because lbr comics are crazy confusing and expensive) but I'm struggling to shake the assumptions I made about Ollies character when I was younger
Hi anon! Thank you soooo much for this ask, I've been looking forward to answering it for hours and now I finally have the time. Ollie's one of my favourite fictional archers, and I adore talking about him at any opportunity because he is SUCH a nuanced character. So here's-
Why Oliver Queen Doesn't Suck
Mandatory disclaimer that this is my own opinions, other people may have different interpretations which is totally fine! Ollie's been around for over 80 years, there's a lot of content to read and a lot of conflicting characterisations, so other people may see him differently than me. Also disclaimer that much of this was written from memory. I fact-checked the date of Nixon's declaration of the War on Drugs and the Denny O'Neil quote, but the rest of this was from memory. Apologies for any innaccuracies, both for comics and context.
Now that that's out of the way, lets talk Snowbirds.
In order to discuss Snowbirds Don't Fly, one of the most important things to factor in is context. I understand it can be difficult to see through the historical lense of a time period in which the majority of people on this website, myself included, were not even born let alone reading comic books. However, it's still crucially vital to discuss what was going on in the real world at the time of its publication in order to engage in a rich discussion of the comic. Snowbirds was published the year that the War on Drugs officially began following Nixon's declaration of drugs as "public enemy number one" on June 17th 1971, just under two months before the release of Snowbirds part 1 in August of that year. At the time, drug addiction was very much seen as a moral failing, and the war on drugs focused heavily on the incarceration of drug users (particularly ones that the US Government wanted an excuse to lock away such as people of colour and pacifists against the war in Vietnam, but that's not relevant to Snowbirds.) While Snowbirds was absolutely not a perfect comic, it was created to show a more humanising side of addicts than the usual demonisation seen on the news. In the words of writer Denny O'Neil, “we chose Roy [...] to show that addiction was not limited to 'bad' or 'misguided' kids.” It was created to show that addiction was not a moral failing, and that anyone could fall into it due to circumstances, even someone we've already accepted as 'one of the good guys' for the past 30 years. Roy was used as the symbol of a good kid who made a bad mistake in order to humanise real young people who'd gone through similar circumstances. And where there's a kid, there's a parent, which is where Ollie came in.
Now, I very strongly believe that Ollie was not written to be the bad guy of Snowbirds. Not only was he also an established 'good guy', but he was a symbolic stand-in for much of America at that time, including the people who would be reading it. And, while Green Arrow is very much a character who brings with him a lot of strong political takes, villainising their readerbase would be a step too far. Ollie was a stand-in for the concerned and ill-informed parent, a character who's consumed all the anti-addict propaganda being spread at the time and internalised it. That's why the fact that it was his own ward struggling with addiction was so poignant to the story. Ollie was forced to re-evaluate his worldview after seeing someone who he knows isn't what the media says addicts are struggling with addiction. Snowbirds has such an interesting character arc for Ollie, seeing him struggle to combine the ideas of what he's heard and what he's actively seeing in his mind.
Now, the most infamous part of Snowbirds is, obviously, the slap. Full disclaimer, I am not saying that Ollie is in the right for that. He was 100% undeniably in the wrong for how he responded to Roy's addiction. However, I think a key component of comic books that people tend to ignore is the component of marketing. The writers wanted this comic to sell. It was a very important story for the time, and with the amount of comics being released it was crucial to them that people actually found the comic and read it, especially since it was one of the first comics released outside of the strict rules of the Comics Code. And what would catch readers' eyes more than seeing a superhero hitting his sidekick whilst said sidekick is surrounded by drugs? I'm not trying to discredit the panel, it was obviously a very significant part of the story, but there were external factors at play too.
A lot of the development of Roy and Ollie's relationship is seen in comics released post-Snowbirds, but even in the comic itself there's clear development, particularly at the end. Snowbirds Don't Fly is a character arc for Ollie of him adjusting his worldview in order to grow and better himself after recognising his own biases. And people tend to forget that Snowbirds ends with Roy hitting Ollie back, and what does Ollie do? He listens. He lets Roy get his frustrations out, and listens to Roy's perspective, and he's proud of him by the end of it, proud of the young man he is.
Okay, now that we've gotten Snowbirds out of the way, let's talk about-
Post-Snowbirds
There's a common misconception that Roy and Ollie having a close relationship is a recent development, which just isn't true. While it could've absolutely been explored in more detail, it's clear that Roy and Ollie reconciled post-Snowbirds. The earliest example that comes to mind is 1993's Green Arrow vol 2 #75, wherein Ollie and Roy refer to each other as father and son.
Keep in mind that this was written by Grell who is, at least in my opinion, one of the best references for Ollie. While they did have some issues in the later issues of the run preceding Ollie's death (the causes of the conflict I'm unsure of, they were on rocky terms during Connor's introduction but I don't know why, if anyone has context for that please let me know but that could've just been a choice Dixon made), it's clear to see that Snowbirds was not something that permenantly damaged their relationship. Ollie put in the effort following his actions, to better himself both as a father and as a person, and Roy recognised that and forgave him. Parent/child relationships are hard anyway, let alone under the circumstances Roy and Ollie are under as heroes, and the fact that Ollie actually recognised his own flaws is far more than many parents do.
If we go later, we can see Roy talking fondly about Ollie whilst Ollie was dead in Titans (1999), fondly recalling memories with him from his youth, as well as keeping a photograph of him on his wall.
While Roy does recognise that things with Ollie weren't always perfect, he does also acknowledge the good times between him and Ollie, and it's clear from the way he speaks that he holds a lot of love for him.
Later still, when Ollie returns from the dead, the duo reunite with fondness
One thing particularly that stands out to me is that, at this point, Ollie was missing many of his memories and Snowbirds was still fresh in his mind, with him bringing up Roy's addiction multiple times throughout Quiver as if it happened within at most the span of two years. Despite this, he still embraces Roy and treats him with love, making it clear that Ollie loved Roy even near to the Snowbirds era. There are more instances I could go into in Green Arrow (2001), but I'm running out of free time, so I'd highly recommend reading it :)
Aaaand later still, Ollie openly admits to having fucked up with Roy during Snowbirds.
He admits his failings, and demonstrates that he's got Roy's best interests at heart. He's not being selfish, he's letting Roy have his moment in his initiation as Red Arrow and staying in the background because he believes that's what's best for Roy. And-
He openly states that he loves Roy.
There's more in the current continuity I could reference, but I don't have the time to go through them right now and I'm definitely more familiar with content pre-52 (particularly 1994-2004 is the ten years I'd say I know the best), so hopefully this is enough.
Roy and Ollie's relationship isn't perfect. It has clear ups and downs, which is what makes them so interesting! Oliver Queen is a very loving, yet very flawed man, and to go either way of "evil abuser" or "perfect father" discredits who he is.
Anyway, your faves don't have to be unproblematic to love them. Ollie has a really compelling character arc during and after Snowbirds, and I like him a lot :)
For further reading, check out my masterlist on my pinned post, particularly Oliver Queen's B- Parenting, Snowbirds (1), and Snowbirds (2)
#tw drugs#roy harper#speedy#arsenal#red arrow#green arrow#oliver queen#snowbirds don't fly#thank you for the ask anon!!!#i will get to your second ask asap#fun fact the only panel i screenshotted specifically for this post was the quiver reunion#the rest were already in my gallery
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What's this blog for?
My goal is to follow the "Dracula Daily" tag for the year 2024 and reblog story-relevant art. This means I want it to turn out almost like a picture book -- where there's one tag for every Dracula Daily date, and you can look through the fanart for each date.
I will also gradually be reblogging art from the previous years (but keeping it spoiler-free!) You'll find the art for each year under the tags "2024", "2023" and "2022", as well as in their respective date tags.
Click here to go directly to a date:
Pre-story | May 3 | May 4 | May 5 | May 7 | May 8 | May 9 | May 11 | May 12 | May 15 | May 16 | May 18 | May 19 | May 24 | May 25 | May 26 | May 28 | May 31
June 5 | June 17 | June 18 | June 24 | June 25 | June 29 | June 30
July 1 | July 8 | July 18 | July 19 | July 20 | July 22 | July 24 | July 26 | July 27 | July 28 | July 29 | July 30
Aug 1 | Aug 2 | Aug 3 | Aug 4 | Aug 6 | Aug 8 | Aug 9 | Aug 10 | Aug 11 | Aug 12 | Aug 13 | Aug 14 | Aug 15 | Aug 17 | Aug 18 | Aug 19 | Aug 20 | Aug 21 | Aug 23 | Aug 24 | Aug 25 | Aug 30 | Aug 31
Sep 1 | Sep 2 | Sep 3 | Sep 4 | Sep 5 | Sep 6 | Sep 7 | Sep 8 | Sep 9 | Sep 10 | Sep 11 | Sep 12 | Sep 13 | Sep 17 | Sep 18 | Sep19 | Sep 20 | Sep 21* | Sep 22 | Sep 23 | Sep 24 | Sep 25 | Sep 26 | Sep 27 | Sep 28 | Sep 29 | Sep 30
Oct 1 | Oct 2 | Oct 3 | Oct 4 | Oct 5 | Oct 6 | Oct 11 | Oct 15 | Oct 16 | The remaining date tags are IN THE REBLOGS of this post! I seem to have hit a link limit...
More Notes & FAQ unter the cut:
*Note: If you're listening to Re: Dracula, or reading the original book instead of the Dracula Daily e-mails, the events of September 21 are covered in the same entry as September 20! This is because Bram Stoker apparently overlooked that everything after Lucy's immediate death happens on the following day. The e-mails split events up as it should be, with two seperate days.
Reblog guidelines:
I try to keep it as story-relevant as possible.* This means that I won't reblog AU art, most character portraits with no further context, and similar things. Some of it may be a bit of a gray zone. For example: character portraits that feature a specific character who only appears in one or two entries, I will probably reblog for that entry. Character portraits of, let's say, Jonathan I won't reblog bc that's too unspecific, UNLESS there is something linking it - again - to a specific part of the book that's easy to pinpoint, like the very first days of his journey. *Note: "story-relevant" doesn't mean "100% text-accurate". Joke posts and art related more to the general impression of an entry that are not direct illustrations of a scene absolutely count!
Spoiler policy:
This blog will be spoiler-free for the 2024 season! Any art from the previous years that concerns a later date will only be posted when that date comes around. Please note: Sometimes a piece of art will allude to or foreshadow things that happen further on in the story, while definitely belonging to a date that has already happened! For these cases I will use the tag "spoilery content" - please blacklist that tag if you want to avoid possible spoilers completely! [Here's an example of what sort of things I'd consider to belong under that tag. Spoilery for Lucy's storyline so view under your own risk.]
What about things like collages, edits and moodboards?
I'm not opposed to reblogging them, too! They only need to be made specific enough so they can be attached to a specific entry. But since they're not my first priority when scanning the tags for pictures (my brain skips anything that's not a drawing almost on autopilot), I've likely missed them all. You're welcome to send something in that you think fits here!
#mod post#dracula daily#ALSO:#I live for the ''two cakes'' principle - I really appreciate every scene depiction I come across and believe they deserve to be seen#whether it's a little doodle or a full-blown i-sunk-30-hours-into-this artpiece#so that's sort of what this blog is for#but that said if you for any reason want you art off the blog please just shoot me a message and I'll do so!#AND as for the 22/23 art: I reblog what I find by looking through archive blogs that have reblogged a lot back then#no guarantees that i'll get all of even most of the art from prev years but I try. there's a LONG queue already
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man what I hate about the fandom excusing the Dave blog with the n word like "it's not IN the comic so it's not canon" is that in THE comic, Hussie was way too obsessed with having Dave rap about segregation and slavery as quips one of the first raps even referenced the slur negro, which textually went over many people's heads (because "it's just "black" in French") when the context was racist white men in segregation-era and how they pronounced that very closely to the well-known slur, pronouncing it with "knee" these types of raps weren't just in Act 1, it was even in Act 3 it's so uncomfortable considering Hussie said "I just type out how I'd talk" when it came to Dave's dialogue, considering his humor and how those raps and the blog came into light it's so annoying how people keep suggesting it's not IN the comic at all- like it's giving "read it once 5 years ago and never freshened up on it while still debating it", y'know?
I'll give as many sources to what you said here as I can, just so people listen more. Wasn't able to track everything down, so some things are more up in the air, but overall, you're on the money.
[Blog of Dave Strider- February 17, 2010.]
I heavily agree and identify with your frustration. Just because it's "not in the comic" doesn't mean Hussie didn't write it and that it's not worth evaluating. This isn't a case where you can disregard it for noncanonicity reasons, like Post Canon. This was written concurrently with canon, and therefore it reflects the political mindset of Hussie during the time of writing Homestuck. That much is valuable information. What I will point out is that the next paragraph here contains yet another phrase that is rather telling of Hussie's... Racial vocabulary.
Definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, to put it nicely. Haven't personally seen it get mentioned, and I feel like it's apt to bring up here, since this is the closest I've seen Hussie get to the big Hard R. Typically, they default to Soft A, which doesn't make it less racist, but does have a different... Vibe, so to speak. It's more hateful sounding.
Moving on.
[Andrew Hussie's Formspring- Feb 24, 2010 - Mar 7, 2010. Exact date unknown.]
The fact that Dave is a near exact emulation of Hussie themself in speech mannerisms, down to the lifting of entire chatlogs, is telling. As we've seen from Hussie's past work, he was clearly... excessively comfortable with throwing around the N-word, as a white man. Why would Dave be any different? It's hard to argue that Dave's racism is "not indicative of Dave's flaws, but indicative of Hussie's", when Dave as a character is both a product of Hussie's mind and a direct extension of her. You can't truly divorce the two. Dave is racist because Hussie is racist. Dave is an extension of Hussie.
[Homestuck, Act 2, page 294- June 23, 2009.]
I believe this is what you were talking about in reference to that particular version of the N-word being used, as well as the references to slavery. This is in Act 2. I couldn't find much in Dave's other raps, outside of his fixation on the idea of Black presidents as a novel concept... Other than this.
[Homestuck, Act 5 Act 2, page 2825- November 1, 2010.]
Apparently using the term "Urban" to refer to Black people, culture, art, and music is a recurring Hussie-ism, even in Homestuck. Rose also uses this a couple times, notably more than Dave does. It sees more usage in Problem Sleuth as well- unsurprising, considering it is an older work than Homestuck is.
[Homestuck, Act 4, page 1590- March 17, 2010.]
[Homestuck, [o], page 3879- July 2, 2011.]
[Problem Sleuth, page 62- March 15, 2008.]
TL;DR: I don't think there's any real excuse to leave Hussie's racism out of genuine discussion of the contents of his works. It's obvious. The only valid defense for leaving it out of analytical conversations is ignorance, because... Well, some people just aren't that observant. Homestuck does not exist in a vacuum. Hussie did, in fact, write this, and Hussie is, in fact, bigoted. Bigotry shows throughout their works not because they're spinning a grand narrative of overcoming your moral failings, but because they kind of just suck. Dave isn't an exception, and shouldn't be divorced from the context of having been written by Andrew Hussie. There's no debate to be had over the existence of Hussie's bigotry, because contesting such a clear cut fact is pure stupidity. It's like arguing that evolution isn't real because you, personally, do not understand it, or don't find it comforting. Hussie's bigotry is one of the only things we can be 100% sure is a real part of his personhood, rather than another figment of his ironic online persona. The level of "Well, Actually"-ism people will engage in over this is mind-numbing, quite frankly.
Thank you for the ask- people being aware of the racism in Homestuck keep me sane. Have a lovely day.
#homestuck#problem sleuth#homestuck meta#homestuck analysis#beta kids#dave strider#rose lalonde#john egbert#andrew hussie#cw racism#homestuck.pdf#dave.pdf#dave.prtsc#rose.prtsc#john.prtsc#nekro.pdf#nekro.sms
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September 29th, 1996
And I say hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey I said "hey, what's going on?"
I've had this song stuck in my head all morning, still dancing along to it as if I'm still in the gymnasium, my gold dress swirling around me. I don't know why this song - it's not particularly romantic, or fitting to the occasion, doesn't sum up how the evening had felt. Yet, it had been the most magical moment of the entire night.
One moment, dancing with Daniel to Duran Duran, then this song came on, the slow start meaning we didn't break apart yet, trying to stay close as long as possible, but when the chorus hit the entire hall threw their heads back, screaming along in a messy harmony. It felt like a dream, didn't feel quite real, like some kind of movie, when your heart feels full even though you're just watching it play out in front of you. Except, this time I was in the middle of it, screaming along with everyone else, and it felt like I was floating, wishing the moment could less forever.
That's not to say the rest of the evening wasn't just as wonderful. Daniel took me to an actual restaurant, which was a nice change of pace from the dinner, but I honestly can't tell if the food was even worth it. My stomach was too busy swirling with nerves, and I could barely get any food past my lips because we were too distracted talking and laughing. It was wonderful - he was wonderful, looking dapper in his suit and glinting golden in the candle light. As far as first dates go, I'm sure it couldn't have gone any better. Not that I'd know, as this was my first first date, but it felt like a dream, like something that couldn't possibly be real.
It was the perfect blend between familiar and exciting - the comfort of someone you already know, someone you already love spending time with, mixed with the nerve-wracking thrill of a new context, of possibility.
We were having such a great time that we were late to the actual dance, having lost track of time completely during our conversation. Whitney gave me this knowing look about it - I don't think she would have believed me if I'd told her we'd just been talking.
Anyway, we danced and we laughed and gossiped and I didn't even care that Mike and his 'party' or whatever was there. I'd already realised I'd have to get used to them being around the school in every facet - that includes chaperoning school events. The night was too perfect though, and I was not going to let anything darken my mood.
I did get to talk to Max though, and thank her for the birthday gift. She said she'd mostly just said 'yes' or 'no' to things Mike had picked out and it was no big deal but that she was glad I liked it. I also used the moment to ask about everything else - I realised that if Mike won't call to tell her things, I might as well ask someone else for intel. Apparently, Lucas and her still live in Chicago, and she works as a counselor at the blind school she went to after whatever happened had happened. Everyone is always so vague about the details, but I didn't want to ask her directly and force her to relive it. That's one thing that actually is none of my business anyway.
Erica is living with them while she is going to college - she got her Bachelor's last June but just started law school. I can't imagine moving in with Nancy while I'm in college. Don't get me wrong, Nancy's great, but it's college! You're supposed to go out on your own and become independent and stuff. I said as much to Max, but she just shrugged and smiled to herself. She said Erica was happier with them than she'd been at the dorms.
I didn't know how to go from there so I just asked about El. I knew she still visits Hawkins a lot, because opposite to the others, I see her around town sometimes. At Melvalds with Joyce or in the diner with Sheriff Hopper, or alone around the library in the center of town. But there's also stretches of time when I don't see her at all. According to Max she takes a bunch of classes at the community college, but also travels a lot - bouncing between Chicago and San Fran and New York. Max said that whenever Dustin or Jonathan and Nancy have to travel for work, she usually tags along too. I don't know why or how she does all of that, but it sounds like a dream. Yet, at the same time, I think I'd personally hate it.
She seemed happy enough though, and it's obvious she is happy. From across the room I could see that, as always, her smile was wide and her skin warm with a tan, her hair pinned back with clips that clashed with her new pink highlights. Most of the chaperones hadn't bothered dressing up, but she had clearly thought about her outfit, each item carefully picked out to form a particular look, even if it was just jeans and a colorful sweater.
I didn't want to outright ask about Mike or Will, mostly because I know what they're doing right now and asking about Mike felt too much like snooping. Max didn't seem like she was going to mention it on her own, and before I could make up my mind on whether I really wanted to know, Dylan came to drag me back to the dance floor.
It was only after we were taking another break some time later that I realised I still didn't know what Dustin or Lucas are doing. I assume Dustin lives in San Fran, as that's the only reason El would go there as often as Chicago or New York, but I don't know what he does there. Probably some kind of tech company or whatever. And I'm pretty sure I heard Mrs. Sinclair talk about Lucas following in his father's footsteps but honestly I don't even know what he does so that doesn't answer any questions.
Might be something to talk about on Friday to fill awkward silences.
Anyway the dance was amazing, and someone must have succeeded in smuggling in alcohol because there was a girl puking in one of the bathroom stalls before 9 pm. She was nice though, told me she liked my dress. Even that felt magical, despite her smudged make-up and loopy expression, the entire night like a daydream where I was floating on air and nothing could ever be wrong.
There was an after party at Selena's house - I swear kids of divorced parents are raising themselves because somehow their houses are always empty at the most opportune times - but Danny and I decided not to go. I didn't want to risk ruining what had been the perfect evening, and I knew I'd only get more tired and everyone else less sober. It also kept the evening quiet, just Daniel and I in the car as he drove me home, drunk on happiness and singing along to the radio. Last night, it seemed, for once, I hadn't cared about missing out. I still don't.
I mean - nothing could have topped Daniel dropping me off at home, getting out of the car along with me as if he didn't know what he was doing either but had seen a few movies, and walked me up to the front door. I knew dad would already be asleep, but mom would be sitting up in the sitting room like she'd done so many nights before, for so many years on end, waiting for her teenager to get home safe.
I had my jacket draped over my shoulders because it wasn't too cold yet and I liked the air against my arms after the crowded gymnasium. Daniel pretended to pull it tighter around me, only to use it as leverage to draw me closer and kiss me. It feels silly writing it down because there's nothing I can say to really describe it. No words that feel right or do it justice, that explain how I'm blushing all over again just thinking about it, my stomach swirling at the recollection.
All I know is that I wish I was still in that moment, still holding his face in my hand, gently scratching my nail over his cheek, submitting the feeling to memory. But I didn't mind when he pulled away, his face flushed and dark eyes shining in the porchlight, because I got to smile at him and he smiled back, blush deepening as he stepped away and muttered a goodnight, dimples digging into his cheeks where I'd held him.
I watched him go before getting back into the house, finding mom asleep on the couch. It was late for her, I realised, even though it was only a little before twelve, and considered the fact she hadn't had to stay up in a long time - not since Mike had left. I didn't want to wake her but knew I had to - if just to let her know I was home and she wouldn't wake up worried.
I still can't quite believe the night was real.
I really should get the reading done for tomorrow, but I don't want to stop thinking about yesterday. Or tomorrow, when I'll see Daniel again.
Love, Holly <3
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Re: Writing a massive CoD tea post
Disclaimer: I don't often write long posts on tumblr so my formatting may be way off here, so bare with me while I get my footing a bit. The original thread by @jazzybot4 that is (as of 24/7/23), on-going can be found here. This thread will be in response to all three parts, as I'm tired I've watching someone swing behind the genuine belief of misinformation. This post will primarily be in defense of @zyomih, as OP has made several claims against them that are backed up by little more than smoke and mirrors. jazzybot4 makes some points, such as the previous mod team mishandling some aspects of moderation, I won't argue with that; we were a small team that was fit to moderate a smaller server and not one that had over 1k members. However, where they lose me, and a lot of other folks is when they begin pointing the finger at @zyomih and saying that they are a "Generally unpleasant person, howling screaming tantrum throwing anti." who has apparently abused Leech (formerly known as Maggot-- I will more than likely alternate in between their names, as I knew them primarily as Maggot) and is heavily implied to have sent death threats, used a sock puppet to bypass blocks etc, etc. Lets start at the beginning, if you want to see the same handful of screenshots from the original twitter thread that OP reposts in every single part, use the link above. I'm tired of them rehashing the same two-three screenshots for their argument. Zyo's original posts can be found here (1) (2) and I encourage you to give them a thorough read through, and not just a light skim. (2) is where they first mention Leechknot, as can be seen below:
This is, and continues to be their only mention of Leech in the context of this drama. But, still the comments persist that Zyo is apparently disparaging Leech:
(Taken from the first posts comment section-- sort by oldest, and its the second or third response. This was in response to me asking when exactly in the first post they went word-for-word and proved-- anything really.) So lets take a look at their dm list on their main account:
This screenshot is their last interaction, which is dated June 27, 2023 which was the day of the server hand-over. They have exchanged no messages since-- and there are no deleted messages, as then there would be long-stretches where Leech was seemingly talking to themselves. Note: Leeches messages have been blacked out in order to not leak their private dm's. This screenshot was taken 2024/07/23 (Today) and is current with Leech's current profile picture. While I appreciate the faith you have in my friend to juggle several sock accounts to block evade/send death threats, its simply not true. Zyo has always been the type of person to say them directly. Lets make something clear, I'm not saying that Leech isn't receiving death threats at all; but I know for a fact that they aren't coming from Zyo. Yet still, Since you insist on being a pariah of truth and receipts (of which you don't provide yourself the majority of the time) here is their entire dm list from their only alt discord account (The 'Dart' dummy account):
This screenshot is, again, taken from 2024/07/23. The user on the top of the friends list is NOT another alt account, but a mutual friend. Their name has been blacked out for privacy. Something I wanted to highlight is the fact that NEITHER of these screenshots show any evidence of Zyo sending threats or any type of abuse towards Maggot. Moving on to the allegations that Zyo made and the latter half of comments which you ignore. You incorrectly identified what their main issues with the server are, and I'm assuming this is so you could strengthen your stance that Zyo is, for lack of a better term, full of shit.
Screenshot from the third post, and lets actually go line by line since you seem incapable of following the structure of your own posts. 1. "Hosting Illegal Content."-- This claim is made because the server hosts threads that talk, in detail about Rape and Sexual assault. These are not support threads, as it clearly states in the rules that there is no venting channels. There is no sexual assault depicted with these characters in the screenshot below, nor is there within Modern Warfare games with the exception of Ghosts comic backstory.
And, an accompanying list of those who were active within the top thread (Important note: Mod roles are defined by [Sgt.], [Lt.], [Cpt.] and [Cpl.]):
Which shows that mods were active within these threads. You are right, their unacceptable content list is well within the recommended list that Discord provides. However, underage nsfw has been shared there before:
--and that has a mod engaging positively with it. They are lenient when they come to their mod staff and their more well-respected members (AKA, those with a significant following.) An example of this is here, when a member is asked by a mod to not stream a game that may or may not have some SA undertones in it:
Which does imply a bias, which I don't think is fair to ignore. If you're going to base your entire arguement over accusing Zyo of acting in bad faith, its really pertinent to include the whole context, and not just cherry picking what does and doesn't work for your argument. I noticed in all of your posts, you've always neglected to approach the Underage aspect of the accusations. Which are, by the way, prohibited by Discord TOS:
I can hear the argument already, that members of the server are not trying to 'Normalize' child abuse. However, as the definition goes on to state-- "Do not post content or engage in conduct that in any way sexualizes children.... [in] any type of digital creation." Fanfiction, by law does count under digital creation. As well, if you look at the top of the screenshot from Discord, you can see the searching the phrase "Underage" yields about 55 results; if we assume that at least 5 of them are from mods asking for the content not to be there and at least one of them is dedicated to their unacceptable list, then that still leaves 49 instances of where the content was discussed in the server. 2. "Engaging in Censorship and Silencing pro-Palestine Activism."-- Once again, no, Zyo was not commenting on them silencing Pro-Palestine Activism. They stated (And their thread has been unrolled for a neater screenshot, the original can be found here):
Which is referencing this tweet where the mod-team asks @/aquasuperbat to remove their comment that Elliot Knight is a Zionist. Jazzy, you say in your first part that you will get back to these allegations later but you never do-- so for the record, Elliot Knight (Who plays Gaz) actively follows and has liked several pro-Israel posts on his twitter. A source is included above. Considering how exceptionally online most folks who are in fandom spaces are, Jellycakes more than likely went into it with the assumption that the original poster knew this, and still wanted to gush over him anyway. How does this relate back to Zyo though? From an outside perspective, the deletion of the comment made by @/aquasuperbat and the immediate deletion of the comment made by @/recentlydeceased implies that the mods are, in some aspects, uncomfortable talking about these topics. This is well within their right, however I'm not sure how they can adhere to the no-politics rule when they have allowed charity fundraisers for Palestine in their server. Is that not also inherently political? Or is it only against the rules when it goes against someone's favorite character? Musings aside, you also claim that 'Real' Silencing would have been mods outright deleting the comment without asking first. While not completely wrong, this also doesn't actually reflect what social silencing is; Silence Theory suggests that those who think that they hold the majority opinion are more comfortable expressing their thoughts and opinions. The mod team is comfortable with expressing that they don't want individuals discussing a current war in their server; their opinion holds the most weight since they are in a position of power; therefore their opinion is the majority. THAT is why the server comes off as being a bunch of Zionists, and why Zyo et al. took issue with the screenshots that were raised. So far, you have done nothing to disprove this fact. Rather your more comfortable with insulting them, calling them names and making baseless threats (ex. Threatening to go to the FBI for death threats Zyo has not made.). You've turned them into the architecture of a villain that you need to have in order to excuse the fact that Leech, for as good as a person as they seemed, still allowed Sexual Assault, Underage and suppressed folks who were Pro-Palestine. You attack their moderation style, for their organizing of a server that they passed along over a year ago. You call them an abuser based on what? Vibes? Because it sure as hell isn't evidence that you've shown-- and if it was as damning as your hyping it up to be, why wouldn't you show the evidence? You have constantly said that these accusations have no weight to them, when in reality it's just showing your lack of reading comprehension when it comes to anything over 100 words. Moreover, your moral posturing is laughable, embarrassing and screams of someone who wants to be the main character of a story that they were on the outskirts for. Take a step back, experience some whimsy in your life and accept the fact that you exist solely in a echo-chamber of people who are confirming your bias. I know you want to defend your friend, I get it, I really do-- I wouldn't be writing out this whole damn post if i didn't, but completing a character assassination on someone whose been mostly inactive in the cod fandom for the last year? Maybe I just don't get it because I haven't been active in the Cod Fandom for a while either, but I don't understand where you get off putting Zyo on blast for every small thing that they have ever done to apparently wrong both you and Leech. Just to reiterate: Zyo hasn't had any contact with Leech for almost a full year. If they wanted to get hateful on main, they would do it from main. They're not going to ban evade and hide behind a dozen different sock puppet accounts just to terrorize the lot of you. That's a significant effort for a dying server with a mod team whose views don't, and will probably never align with ours.
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Trans healthcare is Bullsh*t
Long vent post, cause I'm mad and need to release the feelings back into their natural habitat. Had less than two weeks to go before the hysterectomy I've been trying to get for almost five years, and insurance has denied my appeal. Again. Very clearly for the last time. The rejection letter deemed the surgery "Not medically necessary" and with the context of past interactions I don't think I could have heard the "Fuck off looser" more clearly if someone had told me in person. My first appointment for this surgery was in June, and I had already been waiting for years at that point. I thought had been very careful to get everything set up, and get all my letters of referral and paperwork strait before hand. Except my insurance specifically apparently had a whole extra qualification for this surgery, that does not apply to anyone else in my state, and that no one told me about because the provider I've been going through for my care has never had anyone bring up that requirement before. That being that I needed to have been seeing a therapist specifically for my gender dysphoria for at least 12 months before hand. So. Had to cancel my appointment for that. The new surgery date I got moved things for enough out that my two letters of referral for reproductive surgery, which have to be less than a year old, expired. For the third time. But that gave me a chance to try and fudge the therapist thing. I went back to the same therapists who gave me the letters last year, exactly one year after my last appointment, and they signed off that I'd been seeing them for 12 months. So we turned that in and filed an appeal. That's where it started getting really, really obvious that my insurance was bullshitting us. I currently make just barely too much money to qualify for my state's government insurance plan. (which sucks because Oregon state insurance actually covers transgender care.) But I don't have enough money to pay for my own insurance. I've been on a family plan from my parents. In fact I specifically moved back in with my parents so I would be covered by it. But I age out on my next birthday, which is January 10th. So it's become increasingly obvious over the last few months that insurance was just stalling for time until they didn't have to deal with me anymore. After I turned in the appeal with evidence that I'd been seeing a mental health provider for 12 months, along with my new letters of referral, I didn't hear back from them. Got to within a week of surgery. Contacted surgery scheduling, and they said I hadn't been approved. Contacted my rep. Apparently, they had never received any appeal letters. That was bull crap, btw, because when we re-scheduled things again, and me, my provider, and my rep all made absolutely sure to send things through the proper channels, the exact same thing happened a second time. And at that point it was late October, and the next appointment was Dec 4th. So we re-appealed. Again. My rep sent stuff up the chain directly, and made sure it got to the people who needed to see it. I was assured that I would have an answer within the week. Three weeks ago. Yesterday, I called my rep to check on things, and she read out my final rejection letter. So. Even if I had time to reschedule again before I age out in a month and a half, it's clearly just not happening on this plan. I'd already started looking for other insurance, but even if I find one I can afford that covers trans care, it will take long enough I'll have to renew all my letters again. The thing that really makes me mad about this is the wording of the rejection. "Not medically necessary." Because I've already had top surgery.
My insurance paid for the large, expensive, invasive, purely cosmetic breast surgery with high risk of complications without throwing a single wrench in things. But a minimally invasive reproductive surgery? When I have a history of painful cramping, irregular periods every 10 to 20 days, and bleeding so heavy and so often I suffer from mild blood loss if my weight dips below 175? When I am literally choosing not to loose weight so I don't constantly pass out, and have been doing so since my mid teens? When I have a family history of cervical or uterine cancer? Oh noooo. We cant have that. It's not medically necessary.
#bastards#coincidentally I found out that the office that deals with my approvals is in a different state for some fucking reason#what state? oh yes. It's Utah. where this type of care is illegal.#golly Ghee I wonder why they're so concerned about my reproductive health.#trans#trans healthcare#transgender#trans rights#trans nb#nb#trans non binary#nonbinary#surgery#healthcare#vent post#tw vent#vent
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June 2019 - "Cece" taking advantage of my lude/nude photos for "revenge"
Part 1
I posted lingerie photos on my tumblr (without my face in them) and she proceeded to save those photos from my profile, by obviously creeping on me and looking at it (can't stress that enough, she was creeping on me herself), and then, claimed to sell them to others, attached my real full name to them (I didn't have my real name on my tumblr, only she knew it was mine), and printed one of the photos on coffee mug - to get some weird form of revenge on me for it. Now, my issue wasn't with people seeing them or her saving my photos (as weird as that was) so much as it was her ill intent with them. The copyright issue of her selling things that weren't hers for money was also an issue. Like excuse me, if anyone should be making money of of those it should be me. And secondly, it's pretty fake and scammy in general to sell public pictures that aren't even her's, and without that person's consent AND with vengeful intentions. I would say that kind of does constitute as revenge porn.
It was fraudulent. It was harassment. It was gross. It was creepy. And there was no excuse for this behavior.
And here's even more posts about it.
I posted a screenshot of the first post below both when it her account name was still "chelseyvecchio" and when she changed it to "harrowheart" to cover her ass later. As well as posts regarding the situation when she first changed her account name to "kindredjellybean". Nope, she isn't going to get around being exposed by simply changing her username multiple times.
So, here ya go:
And here is the photo she posted of the mug she made with one of my pictures:
Like yes, that is totally normal and excusable behavior. To not only save lude photos of your exes new girlfriend, but to spend money to get one custom printed on a coffee mug. And then, choose the picture in which your ex you're clearly hung up on grabbing her ass. And not only that, the put the label "best friends" on it. And then, put it on a shelf dedicated to enemy trophies in your room to look at every day. Funny thing id that "cheater's calico" was from an ex she dated years ago. It was a bottle she left at her house and then drank and obsessed over enough to use a decor in her room apparently. Sam told me she kept it for years, like literal years.
So, this is not at all creepy and obsessive, right? Uhm, I think yes.
Yes, it is. It's sick and discomforting on an extremely high level.
More context to each screenshot of "Cece's" posts about me:
Screenshot #1: Notice how in the "Oh dear" post she is indirectly to Sam ("Ricky") and refers to me as "she", implying that she is blaming me for HIS actions. Hence, him creeping on her and accidentily liking her posts as well as posting responses in french at her after she did that. Yeah, because that's MY fault. Ight.
SS #2: Body shaming, body shaming, and more body shaming. Which she started actually. So, she can shut the fuck up about that red post I made. She is no better. And at least I stopped that behavior a long time ago. Literally started as soon as it ended on my end. She still goes off about my body and appearance even more and WORSE than I did or she even did back then, to this day.
SS #3: She claims she's my "pimp", which is just really fucking weird. While vaguely warning she is about to print my pictures on a coffee mug.
SS #4/#5: Just her bragging about her "cliental" basis in selling my pictures increasing. What is mostly relevant to that one is the post comparison, the date on it, and the account name change.
SS #6: She says stuff about her previous romantic/sexual relations with Sam to step on me for some reason. It didn't bother me how she thought it would. It was just distasteful and creepily obsessive. And it ultimately, just says a lot about her shitty character. And then, she brags about making $125 off my pictures and dehumanizes me calling me a "product".
SS #7: She brags about making money from my pictures to pay her bills. Because she was apparently too broke to pay them without selling -someone else's- pictures, which I find really funny.
SS #8/#9: Just some screenshots to prove when she changed her account name to "kindredjellybean" to again, save her own ass covering her identity doing all this shit.
SS #10: The coffee mug....with my ass printed on it...labeled "best friends"...next to her other "enemy trophies"...on a decorative shelf in her room....that she hangs her jackets on and directly looks at every day. But, it's me that was obsessed? Lmao, ight.
Next post here:
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you should totally post what all the drama was now that they aren't in your life and its safe to do so. Cause holy shit am I curious. 🍄
this all goes years into the past for context, back to when i was 16. i’m 21 now, mind you. i first met the good one over instagram. they had began to date one of my partners, so my partner introduced us, and we hit it off immediately. a long time after they and i met, our mutual partner convinced me they were calling me abusive. so i blocked them on everything. a little while after, i broke up with our mutual partner because of reasons i can’t remember. so the good one and i lost contact before i turned 18. fast forward a few years, 19, having just given birth to a child, and the ex mutual partner comes back into my life, bringing the good one with them. and we reconnect as if nothing happened, and we’re talking and we find out how the mutual ex fucked us both over, so we cut off mutual ex together. and then we kept talking and we stayed friends, and so they let me know they were dating the conflicting one. i don’t remember if i had been told about it but apparently they had an agreement, anyone who was friends with either had to be friends with both, if anyone wanted to date either they had to date both. so i forced myself to get to know the conflicting one. we were all friends for a while, but the good one and i realized we still had feelings for each other. so we began to date, and because of the boundary i dated their partner too. but while we were with the mutual ex, i had heard some horrible things about the conflicting one, so for the longest time i was hesitant. but then they moved from their state to mine last year in june, and then i got to know them, and they seemed cool, but i didn’t want to be dating them and slowly the relationship between the conflicting one and i turned toxic (no thanks in part as well to our shitty living situations and stress), until sometime around christmas we had a huge blow up and i cut them out of my life. but the good one kept pushing and telling me to talk to the conflicting one. they always had been a fixer, so they were trying to fix things for the conflicting one and i, and i blew up on them. after my blow up, i was just exhausted, which gave me the clarity to think. so i tried to let the conflicting one back in, but there was a lot of lingering hurt and unhealed pain from how i had left during christmas. we were trying to heal together, but a lot of things happened so they had to move out of my state to a different one, this one being their hometown. they just moved at the end of february. and this is when i told them about my blog, and they both found it and were concerned. i explained to them it’s a journal blog, as most on this site are. but then i found the conflicting ones blog, and it hurt… so i blocked both of them in order to prevent myself from using the conflicting ones blog as a method of self punishment or self harm. but the conflicting one had a backup blog, and they used it to find mine again. so they confronted me about the asks. we spent nearly 2 days arguing (when i WOULD text back of course, they spent most of the time spamming my phone trying to push me into talking). by the end of the argument, i was spiraling. so i said fuck it, and i told them “if you’d like me out of your life, then that’s fine. and since you’re their partner, if you’d like me to break contact with the good one, then i’ll find a way to break it to them gently. it might be safer for both of y’all at this point if i do…” and they told me they’d get back to me after work. it was much sooner than after work… and i was told to break contact with the good one, but to leave the conflicting ones phone number unblocked in case i’m in an emergency or i move to the state they’re in so i can return belongings to them that have been left in my possession since it couldn’t fit amongst their belongings during the move. so there’s the drama, or at least what i remember/am willing to share
#actually bpd#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd thoughts#bpd be like#bpd vent#bpd problems#actually borderline#bpd moment#bpd feels#bpd yandere#bpd obsession#obsessive love disorder#obsessive thinking#obsessive vent#obsessive yandere#actually obsessive#obsessive love#obsessive thoughts#obsession#🍄 anon
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Valice Calendar In Honor Of 15 Years
Yeah, you read the title right -- as of 2023, I will have been shipping Victor Van Dort from Corpse Bride with Alice Liddell from American McGee’s Alice and Alice: Madness Returns for FIFTEEN YEARS. I actually went back into my old LiveJournal/Dreamwidth entries some time ago to see if I could pinpoint when the hell I actually started shipping them -- turns out it was June 22nd, 2008 when I first mentioned having shipping thoughts about them (in response to a TV Tropes binge apparently). Granted, it was in the context of “what the fuck, me, you know they’d be a terrible pairing,” but -- yeah. We see how long that attitude lasted. XD And that means that next June, it’ll be 15 years! Holy hell.
So! Given that 15 years is a bit of a milestone, I thought I’d set up a “Valice Calendar” for the next year so I know which dates I should try and acknowledge as Important Valice Dates. :) Some of these should already be familiar to my regular followers, as I’m already in the habit of doing something special for them, while the rest are from that deep dive into my journaling past:
January 27th -- the date that I posted my first Valice fic, “Suffocating,” on my LiveJournal! Which was obviously in 2009, not 2008, but still a momentous occasion! Also, conveniently, the birth date of Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll.
February 14th -- Valicetine Day, obviously :)
May 4th -- the historical Alice Liddell’s birthday, and thus my Alice’s birthday!
June 9th -- Johnny Depp’s birthday, and as I have a habit of using actor birthdays if a canonical one is not given for a character, thus my Victor’s birthday! (Also, amusingly, the birth date of Michael J. Fox, and thus also my take on Marty McFly, which comes up in “Secundus.”)
June 14th -- release date of Alice: Madness Returns in North America! (According to Wikipedia, anyway, but I can confirm because I got my copy from GameStop the very next day.)
June 22nd -- as stated above, the first time I mentioned thinking about shipping Victor/Alice back in 2008! Even if I thought at the time it was also a pure crackship. XD
JULY 7TH -- Victor and Alice’s wedding anniversary! Which I picked because a) I liked the idea of a summer wedding and b) it’s easy to remember. *facepalm*
September 10th -- first mention in 2008 of me associating songs with the ship (I believe it was “Love Me Dead”); the entry indicated I’d already started associating any vaguely romantic songs with them, but this was the first time I mentioned a specific one, so we’re going with this.
September 23rd -- release date of Corpse Bride in the United States! (According to Wikipedia again, but I’m inclined to believe them.)
October 6th -- Mad Hatter Day (because of the date -- 10/6 like on his hat) and thus just a general Alice day of mention. (I’ve also seen it stated as a release date for the first game, but I’ve never been able to fully confirm that.)
October 31st -- Halloween! Not a specific Valice date, but this is the holiday that sees the biggest spike in interest in the two fandoms, sooo. . .
November 27th -- first mention of me starting to seriously think about fanfic for Valice! Seems weirdly appropriate I’d publish the first one exactly two months later. :p
December 6th -- release date of American McGee’s Alice in North America! (Again, according to Wikipedia -- as stated above, I’ve also seen October 6th cited, and November 22nd on at least one site, so -- I’m just going with this!)
December 8th -- the first time I had one of my RP Alices (”save_us_alice,” though she didn’t have her journal at the time) call one of my RP Victors (”deadgirlsliekme” -- the proper spelling had been taken!) her “boyfriend.” While I’d obviously started genuinely shipping them before that, this is the first date that I saw anything about the pairing being Official, so again, we’re going with this.
December 27th -- my birthday, which -- as the person who came up with this ship -- I feel deserves to be recognized. :p
So yeah, that’s kind of the official Valice Calendar! :D Except -- well. You guys know that a certain OT3 has become very popular around here as well, huh? So yeah, because I know me, here’s also a handful of Valicer dates --
January 8th -- the actual creation of Smiler Always, the sim that informed the look of all my human/humanoid Smilers for my AUs, and their insertion into the Chill Save.
May 31st -- the actual opening date of The Smiler roller coaster! (It was supposed to open earlier, but delays in the final construction meant that it missed the first two dates.) Meaning this is the birthday of my own Smiler!
December 27th -- yes, doubling up with my birthday, because -- well. December 26th of 2021, I watched “One Night In - Alton Towers” with my parents, which led to us looking up a bunch of the rides on YouTube so we could see what they were like. Which included one called “The Smiler,” which I found myself very intrigued by the next day. . .meaning you can trace my Smiler obsession and the eventual creation of the OT3 to me binging Smiler videos and lore posts on my birthday last year.
December 31st -- the date four days later where I realized that the “private hypnokinky AU with Victor and Alice using the coaster’s theming for private fun times” had somehow become “I have made a human Smiler, a vampire Smiler, and a robot-run-by-an-eldritch-abomination Smiler for three different AUs VICTOR WHY DO YOU WANT TO FUCK A ROLLER COASTER” XD AKA the more EXPLICIT creation date of the OT3.
Okay, that should cover just about everything. XD Next year, we celebrate Valice (and Valicer) in style! :)
#valice#valicer#valice calendar#shipping#otp#ot3#yes it's been freaking 15 years#I myself am shocked#what is the passage of time#also I'd link to that original post#but it's honestly not exactly comprehensible on its own#I used to do a thing where I'd have all the different versions of characters I'd made up#(at the time primarily different Doc Browns)#commenting on my activities and arguing with me and stuff like that in my entries#so yeah if you didn't know all the acronyms and whatnot my old entries can be - weird#plus some of these things were hard to track down because I used to do like one-sentence entries a lot more often#like what the hell#when did I go from that to NOVELS#I guess I've gotten chattier in a sense as I've gotten older?#but yes the list of Most Important Valice Dates#and Valicer#because let's face it that OT3 has kind of taken over#not complaining just an observation :p#queued
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THE FINAL CHAPTER (HOPEFULLY)
nwhealth.edu article
CDC Clinical Practice Guidelines quote:
"Noninvasive Nonpharmacologic Approaches to Subacute and Chronic Pain....Other noninvasive nonpharmacologic therapies that improve pain, function, or both for at least 1 month after delivery without apparent risk for serious harm include cognitive behavioral therapy for knee osteoarthritis; manual therapies for hip osteoarthritis; psychological therapy, spinal manipulation, low-level laser therapy, massage.... (9)."
More evidence for you, @iwantapenguin.
To be honest, I'm keeping this short because the discussion has long since devolved from civility into denial of basic, scientific fact; and the effort to keep it going has become less rewarding than my other pending projects. Don't get me wrong: if I see something particularly egregious, I'll speak up; but my time is better devoted elsewhere.
I re-addressed your specific points in the "Read More" section.
The Inconsistency of Your Facts, Other Failed Predictions, and 'Indirect Aggression' Statements
Your facts against Monique Pendleberry, as you present them, rest on shadows that either disprove your own timeline or have since faded away in the disinfecting light of public acknowledgement.
Your Blind Item proof states he and Monique met only two weeks prior (early May 2015); and an anon further disproved your still standing 19-year-old theory back in 2019 by looking up her LinkedIn and finding out she began working at SLO in 2013 after turning 20.) Further, one of your mutuals claims she saw Monique first liked a post by Brad in 2014-- though I've seen no proof of this, personally. Your NDA claim stems from an anon on a since deleted, as far as I'm aware, blog (and which you acknowledge had imperfect information-- "might have been guessing but..."); and your claim she called the paparazzi on David in Vancouver (December 2017) to be "publicly recognized" is two months too late, as the press had already put out a story about his 33 year younger girlfriend, quotes from her uncle and the source included, with pics from June 2017 of she, he, and his friends outside waiting on a table. Your claims towards Monique's sneaky videos and apartment shots fall apart when in context with what David has already shared of his apartment, locations, movements, and even "naked" ice bath picture (2019)-- not to mention David's little collection of pics others took of him while he wasn't aware (or even conscious, according to the many nap pics he reposts; and according to the pic Jack Whitehall just uploaded today.) Moreover, he already told Gillian her recording and posting without his knowledge didn't bother him ("I am okay [with it]-- I just never think to do it.") Monique being caught on camera groping David-- without either of their consent, I'm pretty sure-- falls in line with him publicly groping Tea in the past; and he didn't seem at all bothered at MP's antics once he realized she wasn't trying to poke or tickle his stomach (grinning a little smugly when she finished her routine at his junk instead.) You say Monique let KR use her as one of his "Angels", gravitating perverts to his business; and you also call David a pervert that you wouldn't trust around teenagers (assuming he met MP at 19 instead of the provable one-month-away-from 22, and also implying he is purposefully dating someone closer in age to-- and once wearing the same shade of nail polish as-- his daughter.) Yet, the victim of KR who knew Monique appreciated the love "Mo" gave in the comments and reciprocated her support when Monique shared a similar sentiment on her own Insta. You disregard David's lifelong friendships by claiming he needs them to back up or support the lies he tells himself. You claimed he wanted to hide MP away like a dirty secret in 2018, then claimed he was pushing her onto fans so they'll accept her (after assuming he wanted to soft launch her music career) in 2019, and now claim he waited until his mother died before publicly acknowledging Monique eight days ago, 2024: those narratives don't align with each other, let alone with David's other public and promiscuous actions while his mother was very alive and very aware (foul language, soft core porn movies/tv, explicit sexual talk, "I am as tall as a whale's penis", etc.) You claim Monique photoshops her Insta pics despite only one of them using a very obvious filter (for blurring, not photoshopping); and when an anon called you on it, you deflected hardcore. You deny the possibility of David's team prearranging pap strolls to Erewhon Market, even after the latter blew up during COVID as the go-to for celebrity publicists and paparazzi teams.** You gave credence to a rumor stating David had sex with teenagers in his trailer before an falsified 1995 rehab claim (both of which are unsubstantiated.)
Your predictions about Monique's effect on David's relationships crumble under the weight of evidence: commenting that West didn't follow Monique because there was friction between them-- which might have been true; but, again, no proof-- while also acknowledging Piper stopped following GA while remaining close-- and walking back your former statement, slightly; implying that West is distancing herself from her father only to be proven incorrect by her Father's Day post the next day; commenting that Tea must hate his relationship with Monique because she wants to strangle him at times despite the full context ("On occasion, I want to throttle him,” she said of her former hubby. "But in any real relationship with someone you love, that’s true") and her previous statement fresh from divorce ("He's a good guy"); assuming Gillian wanted to keep distant from his mistakes when she's had nothing but praise to say of him since the Revival, even after Monique joined (you even discredit the hug she gave Monique after the All About Eve performance as "perfunctory"); and assuming that David's kids kept their distance or were forced to put up with Monique to be around him, even now despite public evidence to the contrary (all shown in this post.)
Your other previous predictions also fall apart: You shared information from a "source" about David and Gillian making out at a party without proof; you stated that Monique's attention-seeking and boredom would cost his (their) reputation; when an anon challenged a previous claim that Bucky Dent wouldn't be picked up, you stated that it isn't good business to back "sexual abusers and creeps anymore"; and you believed the claim that Monique was soft launching her music career, stating "Everything surrounding David is bizarre, so it’s hard to parse what’s real and fake now." There are many more examples, but I'm keeping this post succinct.
Your preferred method of attack is indirect aggression. I pasted previously quoted scientific articles in the "Read More" section below, if you care to peruse it again. In short: "... this form of aggression maximizes the harm inflicted on the victim while minimizing the personal danger involved. The risk to the perpetrator is lower because he/she often remains anonymous, thereby avoiding a counterattack. As well, indirect aggression harms others in such a socially skilled manner that the aggressor can also make it appear as if there was ‘no intention to hurt at all" and "Indirect aggression is circuitous in nature and entails actions such as getting others to dislike a person, excluding peers from the group, giving someone the ‘silent treatment’, purposefully divulging secrets to others, and the use of derisive body and facial gestures to make another feel self-conscious."
Some of your many indirect aggression statements:
-"How do you know they [his kids] are ok [with DD and MP]? Why do you care if I’m not?"
-"I wasn’t a teenager yet and I recognized that Téa was repeating the b******** David told her in a lot of her interviews after they got married. Gillian wouldn’t give up her career to follow him around and she won’t blow smoke up his a**"
-"She [MP] may not be the brightest but she is a genius in manipulation"
-"There it is, always saving it up for the birthday. His hand looks like daughter and her hand looks like Daddy. 🤭"
-"She [MP] is so fake and gross; when is David going to realize this?"
-"When has she ever been stunning honestly? ...Average, a little masculine, thin and no sagging. The face doesn’t matter to men like David, nor intellect"
-"[MP] Instagram vs. reality folks. Don’t let anyone fool you"
-"He [DD] feels like hot s*** being able to pull a youngin’ but he also doesn’t want to look at a less than perfect woman either probably."
-"He needs to be canceled for good. A 59 year old man with a 26 year old woman is going to look and sound ridiculous. A perverted daddy and daughter duet. 🤮"
Conclusion
In short: I think your perception is based on a very faulty, incomplete foundation. You mix puzzle pieces of truth with personal bias and assumption. We agree on the same evidence but disagree on your interpretations or "read" of others' motives or intent. The difference is, no one from Monique's past or present have come forward as a character witness against her. All we have "against" her is a past association she and David cut ties with, a victim of said past association appreciating her support, and sundry online blunders that not even David's professional team are immune from.
It is what it is.
Readdressing Old Points
You and I can civilly disagree on David and Monique's motives, their dating timeline, and the nature of their relationship; but you can't deny that chiropractic medicine is okayed by the broad scope of Western medicine, has studies proving its efficacy, and is nowhere near the chi and reflexology which you disapprove of and which have no scientific backing. I've already quoted studies and articles from the CDC, NCCIH/nih.gov, PubMed, WebMD, Mayo Clinic, healthline, and others, so won't reiterate here. Your examples are fringe cases that either stem from malpractice or from practitioners seeing their patients as cash instead of clients. Further, you now deny an aspect of Western medicine because "People will always have an interest in protecting any industry, no matter how harmful, if it makes them a lot of money": you can't hold the position that chiropractic and other forms of alternative medicine are unsubstantiated and also hold that substantiated science is corrupted because of money. I've pointed to studies over lengthy periods of time from accredited sites, you've pointed to fringe cases.
That denial has also spread to undeniable facts, evidence, and proof about West and Monique's new relationship during the events of June 2023 and her recent birthday 2024, that Monique still posts about Brick despite having a new puppy, and that David has been inviting Monique on-stage, flashing his tongue at her, or waving to her while being passed around during his performances. Whatever might have been going on no longer is; and since we only have proof now of what her dynamic with him, his kids, and her followers are, the rest-- yours and mine-- are still assumptions.
Showing Monique and KR together isn't the gotcha you think it is while his victim's friendship with her still stands. Not to mention the implication that people in close proximity with predators are guilty, too, even if they had nothing to do with (and no provable knowledge of) their crimes....
And yes, I do think you're angry. You wouldn't be jumping through hoops to deny West's and Monique's friendship, responding to my assumptions and explanations with "JFC. He did not know she was filming him doing the dishes from the caboose", or claiming the photos and videos Monique uploaded must have been sneaked without David's knowledge-- without proof-- if you weren't.
Indirect Aggression
Indirect aggression explanation and studies (initial post here):
Indirect aggression is a form of aggression that hides behind "my opinion" or "my two cents" to bully others without receiving backlash. While it can be used in sexually competitive environments (in same sex bullying, for example), it mainly extends to interpersonal groups, families, and anonymous online forums. To quote National Library of Medicine: "According to Björkqvist [15], females prefer to use indirect aggression over direct aggression (i.e. verbal and physical aggression) because this form of aggression maximizes the harm inflicted on the victim while minimizing the personal danger involved. The risk to the perpetrator is lower because he/she often remains anonymous, thereby avoiding a counterattack. As well, indirect aggression harms others in such a socially skilled manner that the aggressor can also make it appear as if there was ‘no intention to hurt at all’." I recommend reading the study: it has a few fascinating things to say about perceived threats and thinness, as well.
The study continues: "Indirect aggression is circuitous in nature and entails actions such as getting others to dislike a person, excluding peers from the group, giving someone the ‘silent treatment’, purposefully divulging secrets to others, and the use of derisive body and facial gestures to make another feel self-conscious." While I can't see your face while typing out a post, your words do a sufficient enough job: "When has she ever been stunning honestly? She’s comparable to Perry Reeves and Suzanne Lanza. Average, a little masculine, thin and no sagging. The face doesn’t matter to men like David, nor intellect."
Another quote from a study published on PubMed Central: "In indirect aggression, the aggressor often uses others in the social group to harm the target and may avoid direct confrontation, whereas in direct aggression, the aggressor either physically or verbally confronts the target." Examples? Posting one's opinions about another person indirectly to their blog by not, say, tagging or addressing the 'opposition' directly, leaving them to be told about it or stumble onto it later before they can defend themselves... that might, perhaps, fit the bill. As would calling David and Monique names; then, when given push back, telling detractors they don't need to care about your opinions, anyway. (For the record, I don't. Just found it fascinating to study the oh so subtle shifts of your narrative back and forth. That compliment's a freebie, by the way-- I try to hand out at least one in each negatively bent post.)
Conclusion, Redux
And there you have it. I'm off to dance to the Cope-a-Cabana while I continue on my merry way~.
**Updated to add that, while I no longer stand by the Erewhon Market theory (based on further research), I do stand behind my other factual claims.
#last post on the topic#drama#for those that want to avoid#iwantapenguin#got other projects that need my attention#and at this point we're just rehashing#mutuals who had to see these posts: you're free!!!!
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Families frustrated over school’s response to racism in Flossmoor
Parents of students at Infant Jesus of Prague Catholic Elementary School in Flossmoor are calling for the school’s administration to take a stronger stance against racism after its first Black principal received hate mail.
Felicia Clotworthy was hired as principal in June 2023, said Lynnnette Wright, whose son attends the school.
But six months later, a letter addressed to Clotworthy from an unnamed sender, dated Dec. 31, used a racial slur to address her.
“We know there have been incidents at Infant Jesus of Prague this school year and have been productively working with the parish and school to address them,” said Greg Richmond, superintendent of the Archdiocese of Chicago Catholic Schools, in a written statement.
“We believe all schools should be free of racism and have been pleased that the pastor, principal, and school community have been working together to make IJP a welcoming environment for all.” Officials at Infant Jesus Prague Elementary School would not comment on the letters and instead referred questions to the archdiocese.
Although Richmond’s statement mentioned and condemned the reports of racism, several parents at the school are calling for administrators at Infant Jesus Prague Elementary School to speak up.
“The majority of parents here are asking for a strong denouncement and support from the archdiocese because we are not receiving it in the parish,” said Wright, who has led community meetings with more than 60 other parents calling for more action from the elementary school.
Erica Andrews and Morgan Sutherland are two other parents who, along with Wright, have discussed how to put more pressure on the school to respond to racism more actively.
They all said they are strongly considering not enrolling their children in the upcoming school year.
Tuition is between $6,000 and $7,000 per child depending on if the family is in the parish.
“More than likely we will not be returning next year,” said Andrews, adding she spoke to five families Thursday that “committed to not returning.”
The letter to Clotworthy, provided to the Daily Southtown, uses a racial slur to refer to her and tells her to “beware.”
It also refers to an apparent incident with two other people, but Wright was not clear about the specifics or the context.
Wright said there have been other interactions between white and Black community members.
In one instance, a Wright said a white woman “accosted” her in the school parking lot and told her Clotworthy was “not wanted in the community and that they would be doing whatever they could” to remove her from her role.
Wright said Clotworthy recently announced she is leaving at the end of the school year because of the letter and school’s response.
The archdiocese’s office of Catholic schools confirmed Clotworthy accepted a position at another Catholic school, but did not share specifics, referring questions to Clotworthy, who did not respond to requests for comment.
Flossmoor is more than 63% Black, according to the United States Census Bureau.
Wright said the school is 75% Black students and that Clotworthy is the school’s first Black principal.
She and other parents are threatening to pull their students from the elementary school if the school does not express more support for Black families.
This is not the first time racial tensions have emerged in Flossmoor.
The village’s first Black police chief recently sued the mayor, village and village administrator over his recent dismissal, alleging he was fired because of a “master-slave dynamic.”
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@sinnadreams was actually going to put together some sort of more comprehensive timeline, but we discussed it and realized that we should be promoting behavior which respects their privacy!!!
BUT! I'm happy to some high points which are publicly known/they liked the posts so they know we know lol.
Mile and Apo as models (first meeting)
The earliest that we know is from Mile and Apo together on the runway. Mile says he actually remembers another show they did together where Apo was in front of him instead of behind him, but who knows. We actually have the approximate date of that show because Mile posted his shots on the runway to Instagram: August 10, 2013
The link to the video of the show with their cuts is above, you can see Apo peaking out from behind Mile in this shot.
Apo would have 19, Mile would have been 21. Based on what we saw, Mile only did runway for a couple of years (the last confirmed timestamp we have is he walked Gin&Milk BIFW 2015 which was Nov 7, 2015... he would have been 23). In the fashion season before that Mile was...in a boyband.
Apo continued to do runway up as a working actor (Apo at least walked BIFW 2017 in March 2017, when he would have been 23). Not all the shows are recorded, but we can guess they met/talked at the gym (their official meet cute!) sometime in 2013 or 2014.
Mile's graduation (same time, same place)
Mile had his university graduation on Dec 12, 2017, and Apo was in attendance to this graduation to support another friend. Mile would have been 25 and Apo would have been 23 🥰.
Mile liked this post and said something like WOW! but we never heard anything else about it. The series of photos were timestamped, so I'm sure they talked about it in private (like the fact they both played marbles growing up too, which they mentioned in a few interviews)
Actually, I have no cultural context for this but apparently 24-25 seems like the usual age range of people in Thailand graduating university? Bas, who was born in April 1997 graduated Sept 2022 so he also would have been 25.
A couple of other points of importance:
Mile was originally cast for MyEng in 2017, when he would have been 25. He turned the role down. MyEng was eventually released in 2020, and became Perth's breakout opportunity. :) Perth was born July 1994 so he would have been 25 when the show was shot/aired.
Apo's contract with Channel 3 expired in 2019 (he was 25). He apparently ordained for a month as a monk sometime that spring, then headed to New York. One of his reasons behind the choice was that he was graduating, his contract was expiring, he was obviously unhappy with the situation at work, and wanted to go live abroad.
Based on Apo's own tags, he moved to New York in mid December 2019. According to the HGSB interview, he lived in New York approximately 6 months so he would have been back in Thailand around June of 2020.
KinnPorsche Auditions
The audition process started in late Sept 2020 and went through early October
Apo and Mile met again at the audition. Mile recognized Apo but was too shy to approach him (as per his own admission both times). Apo remembered Mile but didn't remember his name, but went to greet him. They only talked to each other during the process and sat next to each other. They were both fast tracked through the audition process. There's dozens of vidoes online with stuff about the audition so you can find it.
Casting announcements occurred in November 2020. Mile had to cut his hair and there was no way he was gonna do it without the job offer lol.
KinnPorsche Filmania and the launch of Be on Cloud
The Filmania KPTS trailer was released January 2021. It's still online under BOC's channel, just hidden. I'm not gonna look for the link but it's not hard to find. It was slated to air March 2021.
Mile and Apo did a slew of promo in the year through spring. Obviously things were happening behind the scenes we don't know, probably issues related to funding.
Filmania's Kinnporsche the Series was formally cancelled mid July 2021 (July 13, 2021 according to the article) though there were rumors of cancellation through late June/early July.
Be on Cloud's Kinnporsche the Series was annnounced on August 29, 2022 with the Mafia Never Die and Hidden Message trailers.
By October 2021, they had secured Maserati's sponsorship and posted the trailer.
That's it! The rest is pretty easy to find yourself. Obviously Mile and Apo knew something was up probably as early as May of 2021, but they really scrambled to get funding and the series revived through July and August. Remember the new trailer was released at the end of August so they were already working and shooting and editing in mid August. I'm not gonna speculate too hard about what we can see for what else they did.
Hope that helps!
Is there any post or website where I can find a rough MileApo timeline? Like I known they walked that run way like 10 years ago but was that when they were in college or after they graduated? Same with the meeting at the gym and when did the old Kp get cancelled and the new kp announced. There are so many stories and moments that when you come into the fandom a bit later it's hard to figure out the timeline of everything.
sorry, i don't think anyone's made a comprehensive one (yet?). i know there's an old post that went around that kind of explains their backstory but some stuff in it is wrong, which we learned later as mileapo have talked more about their pasts, separately and together. or you can probably ask @discluded c:
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As It Was (3/6)
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2.4K Warning: Language Series: As It Was (aka Lilac’s Exes)
Series Premise: All the times Ethan meets her exes throughout the years. Chapter Premise: The person who hurt her the most returns with something surprising to say.
Context: Lilac dated Alex Rhodes in undergrad. Their relationship was passionate at first, but ended horribly when Alex cheated. His FC is Chris Evans. (Exes | Exes Timeline | Fake Husband )
Year 2: Edenbrook
“...female, fifty-nine years old. According to her primary physician, she presented with chronic headaches and fatigue four months ago,” Baz explained to the team. “They diagnosed it as migraines.”
June scoffed.
“However, her symptoms progressively worsened. Her headache was so severe, she collapsed while grocery shopping.”
“What information did the patient give you during the initial consultation?” Ethan asked, his tone business-like.
Beside him, he could feel Lilac glancing up at him. It took all of his willpower not to turn to her and meet her gaze. If he did, he could reveal just how much his lips ached with the memory of their kiss, especially to someone as astute as June Hirata.
“Only that her vision had been worsening over time. She attributed that to old age. Apparently, she stubbornly fought her son on wearing glasses.”
Ethan added every bit of information to a mental catalog, silently summoning and discarding possible causes.
“Definitely a neurological issue,” June said.
“We can start with an MRI,” Lilac added.
Ethan nodded. “Yes. We can go from there. Anything else from the patient, Baz?”
Before Baz could continue, the door opened in haste, letting in a tall, windswept, and rather breathless man. Striking blue eyes scanned the room until they landed on the patient bed, his relief palpable as his wide shoulders deflated. When the shock of his abrupt arrival subsided, everyone in the room seemed to take him in, June with more admiration than the rest. The man was polished, donning a dark blue designer suit, his hair slicked back and his beard neatly trimmed. As he moved around the tiny room, he commanded the space, leaving the scent of expensive cologne in his wake.
“Sorry, I'm late. I just got the call.”
Even his voice was smooth, matching his movements and easy smile.
“You must be Mrs. Rhodes' son,” June said pleasantly, stepping forward with cool ease and offering her hand. “I'm Doctor June Hirata, one of the doctors treating your mother. This is Doctor Baz Mirani, Doctor Ethan Ramsey—” Ethan tried not to appear annoyed that she spoke as though she was the leader of the team. Plus, June's faux saccharine tone always grated on his nerves.
“—and Doctor Lilac Allende.”
To Ethan's surprise, Mrs. Rhodes' son froze at the name. His eyes fell on Lilac, incredulous, as though she was an apparition he was too afraid would vanish any second. Lilac, on the other hand, was paler than Ethan had ever seen her, her green eyes wide as she assessed the man before her. Something shifted in her demeanor, her shoulders tensing and her neck straining as she swallowed.
“Mr. Rhodes?” June prompted, her eyes swiveling from Lilac to the man.
“Sorry,” he said with a shake of his head. “I'm Alex Rhodes. Pleasure to meet you doctors,” his eyes shifted to Lilac again, as though wishing to say something else. “How's my mother?”
As June and Baz took turns explaining the team's findings, Ethan glanced at Lilac, growing more concerned about her by the second. She stood straight as a rod, still drained of color, her eyes fixed on the wall straight ahead. Her fingers gripped her clipboard which she pressed to her chest protectively.
“...you'll be the first to know when we learn more.”
“I'll order that MRI now,” Lilac blurted. And without waiting for a response, she hurried out of the room.
Alex Rhodes followed her with his eyes, looking as though he had half a mind to follow. A protective instinct flared up in Ethan, his jaw clenching. For some reason, he wanted to push Rhodes as far away from Lilac as his strength would allow.
Later, when Ethan could at last detach himself from the group, he followed a nurse's vague set of instructions to the fifth floor. A second nurse pointed him in the direction of the service elevators. Soon, he found Lilac in a supply closet, her back to the door, standing quite still in the refuge of her own arms.
“I didn't think anyone other than interns hid in here.”
The door closed behind him as he struggled to fit comfortably in the confined space. A tall frame and broad shoulders rendered that endeavor difficult. Lilac, however, didn't seem to mind.
“I'm not hiding.”
“Lilac.”
She sighed, finally turning to face him.
“Fine. I'm hiding.”
Her face appeared even paler in the darkness of the closet.
“Who's that man? You evidently know each other.”
“My ex.”
Silence.
“I see.”
Lilac didn't elaborate, instead averting her gaze to the floor. Something about this Rhodes character made her act unlike herself. Typically confident and exuberant, this Lilac seemed reticent and oddly small. It made his stomach twist.
“You seem to be on good terms with your exes. What's different about this one?”
“He…” she trailed off, struggling to push out the words. “Short version? We were serious. Very serious. Then he cheated on me with a close friend of mine at the time.”
Ethan received the information with a stiff nod, his molars grinding on their own accord.
“Twice,” Lilac added.
Dangerous, cold anger snaked through Ethan as he listened, particularly when he detected the defeat and shame in her voice.
“Looking back, our relationship wasn't a good one. And I was stupid enough to take him back —”
“Stop.”
Lilac obeyed, a little stunned. In that moment, as she blinked up at him, she looked so vulnerable that something fierce tugged at his heartstrings. For a moment, nothing mattered—not his ironclad conviction or the rules that separated them— all that mattered was having her in his arms.
Caught off guard, she stiffened against his embrace but relaxed almost immediately after. She sighed into his chest, her shoulders relaxing in his grasp.
“We don't have to talk about him if you don't wish to,” he assured her in a murmur. “Just… don't blame yourself for being trusting and compassionate.”
Lilac glanced up at him, those green eyes shimmering with something bright and hopeful.
“Your courage to trust again despite past misgivings… it's one of the things I admire about you.”
He wasn't talking about just her pathetic ex anymore. Unable to help himself, he leaned in and kissed her forehead tenderly. Her lashes fluttered against his cheekbones as she closed her eyes, melting against his touch. They stood like that for a few more stolen moments, then, with a mournful exhale, he stepped back.
Lilac, for her part, looked marginally better. She even summoned a playful little smile that drove him crazy.
“One of the things? What else do you admire about me?”
Ethan rolled his eyes, a small smile breaking through regardless.
“Your affinity to question everything,” he returned. “Right now being a prime example.”
Lilac laughed and the sound was pure bliss for him.
“Come on. Duty calls.” When she hesitated, he added, “I can ensure Rhodes deals only with me, June, and Baz. You don't have to interact with him if you don't want to.”
As it turned out, even Ethan's considerable influence in the hospital was not enough to keep a determined Alex Rhodes away from Lilac. Only the following day, Ethan entered Mrs. Rhodes' room to find Lilac quite literally cornered. Rhodes stood nearby, his palms held up in front of him as he attempted to reason with her.
“...need to talk.”
He said this in a hushed voice, no doubt for the benefit of his mother who was sleeping peacefully on the patient bed.
“We don't need to do anything, Alex.”
Ethan's blood boiled when he realized Lilac was trying her best to sidestep him. His feet carried him forward in a vicious rush. His fists, balled up painfully tight at his sides, itched to connect with the other man’s jaw.
“Step away from her.”
Ethan's words were inexplicably collected despite the rage swirling through his insides. The veiled calamity landed like a blow, however. Rhodes tensed as he glanced at Ethan, but obeyed, giving Lilac a wide berth.
“I didn't mean—” he started, cutting off with a defeated and frustrated sigh. “I didn't mean to trap you, Lilac. I was just hoping we could talk.”
Lilac wasted no time in moving as far away from Rhodes as the tiny patient room allowed. Almost as if on instinct, she stopped right next to Ethan. If she was seeking comfort and protection, he was more than ready to oblige. Wordlessly, Ethan raised himself to his full height, easily towering over the other man who was quite tall himself.
“I'd be happy to discuss your mother's case, Mr. Rhodes,” Lilac shot back in a voice that was pure ice. “Aside from that, we have nothing to talk about.”
“I deserve that.”
Ethan scoffed—a cold, merciless sound.
“That's only a small fraction of what you deserve. Be grateful Doctor Allende is a professional. I, on the other hand, have a reputation for punching people while on company time.”
Rhodes considered Ethan at that, not with anger but with genuine curiosity. He glanced between the two, taking note of how Ethan's frame was angled to shield Lilac. The other man must have seen something in the space separating them because quiet understanding dawned on him.
“Look, I was really hoping I could do this properly,” Alex started, his eyes returning to Lilac. “I imagined doing this countless times, but I was too cowardly to reach out. I never imagined I'd run into you.”
Lilac's mouth was set in a determined, flat line, her chin raised high with dignity. Despite this, Ethan could see her mild interest in the man's words. Hell, even Ethan himself was interested to hear where this was going.
Rhodes shuffled nervously on his feet.
“Lilac, I am ashamed of how I treated you during our time together, especially of how things ended between us—”
“You mean how you cheated on me with Tanya?”
Alex grimaced but took the jab with composure. “Yes.”
“Twice.”
“Twice,” he repeated, looking guilt-ridden. “I won’t waste your time trying to justify my mistakes to you. To be honest, I don’t believe there’s any rationalization for how fucked up my actions were. What I do believe is that you deserve an apology.” He paused, meeting her eyes earnestly. “I’m sorry for how I acted, Lilac, and for all the pain I put you through.”
A deafening silence followed the words.
Ethan’s pulse was a storm at his ears, his instinct rejecting the bastard’s remorse, no matter how genuine it seemed. When he glanced down at Lilac, he was surprised to find her expression softening slightly, an unmistakable crack in her defenses.
Rhodes continued, no doubt noticing Lilac’s shift. “I know I will never finish atoning for that in this lifetime, but I wanted to offer you what you’re owed.”
The silence permeated every inch of the small room. It stretched for so long that Ethan was convinced Lilac would remain silent and unmoving until Rhodes dignified to leave the room. Finally, she gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. Not an acceptance of the offered apology, but an acknowledgement.
It seemed to be more than enough for Rhodes because his shoulders dropped, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“You look well, Lilac,” he commented. Then, his eyes moved up to Ethan before settling on her again. “You look happy.”
“I am.”
Rhodes smiled fully now, looking genuinely happy at the confirmation.
“Thank you both for everything you’re doing for my mother,” he said with the same sincerity.
Jaw clamped tight, Ethan merely nodded, making a conscious effort to put all professionalism first.
“We'll be back in a few hours with updates.”
And before any more could be said, Ethan wordlessly guided a pale and tense Lilac out of the room. They walked the hall in strained silence until they reached the confines of his office. Even in private, her shoulders tensed and the color remained absent from her face.
“How are you?” Ethan asked softly.
“I'm fine.”
He wasn't convinced.
“Seriously, I'm okay.”
Ethan allowed a longer pause.
“You don't have to believe or accept his apology, you know.”
Lilac glanced up at him, giving him a curious look.
“Receiving an apology is a strange phenomenon where you feel obligated to accept or appreciate the gesture.” He thought Louise and the half uttered apology she managed to squeeze into the second before he hung up the phone. “You don't have to do any of those things for Rhodes.”
Lilac considered his words in silence, biting her bottom lip. At last, she nodded, moving closer to him. “I'm aware of that. All of this is so…”
“Confusing?”
Lilac nodded again.
“For all I know, he could be completely insincere. It is his job to be convincing, after all.”
Ethan raised a brow, confused.
“He's a lawyer.”
At that, he laughed.
“He just keeps getting worse the more I learn about him.”
Lilac rolled her eyes and slowly allowed herself to join in with his amusement. The small peal of laughter Ethan inspired made his stomach dip pleasantly. He watched her, his eyes falling on the rosebud lips he longed to kiss.
Eventually, her amusement dwindled away.
“I don't know if I will ever forgive him,” she said. “But his apology made me hate him a fraction less. It felt like poison leaving my body.”
Lilac shuffled her feet, as though embarrassed of the comparison. Ethan, on the other hand, nodded in understanding.
“That's all that matters here. Your peace.”
Relief and something else bloomed in her expression when she glanced up at him. They held each other's gaze and in the minimal space separating them, something fierce and impossible to ignore pulsed to life. It was the same tether that always pulled him toward her from the first day he met her. The same pull that only grew more insistent and agonizing with the distance he tried to put between them a few months ago.
There was no corner of the world he could run to where he could ever forget her.
“He's an idiot,” Ethan said into the silence.
Lilac tilted her head curiously.
“To willingly lose you when he had you in his arms? He should've realized how damn fortunate he was in the first place.”
He wasn't talking about Rhodes anymore.
By the way her breath picked up, Lilac knew this, too.
Ethan opened his mouth, as though to say more. What he would say, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter in the end. In the silence, Lilac stepped into his arms, setting her head against his chest, wordlessly listening to the harmony his pulse created only for her.
Note: This takes place in a different “universe” as the Fake Husband series.
I imagine Alex is a changed man who is trying to atone for his past misgivings. He genuinely feels remorse for what he did to Lilac. Whether or not he should be forgive is entirely up to you.
Thank you so much!
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Little awkward question but you think Harry and Ginny had sex in Hogwarts during HBP? Because many people saying that and some saying Ginny lost hers with Dean. I was so mad when heard and think both are unreal and nonsense. What's your thoughts on this?
Ok, I'm going to answer to this one and I'm going to be very professional about it.
I can do it. I'm old enough.
Let's go in order.
Did Ginny sleep with Dean?
I know that there are people who say this, none of them are very well-versed in these books and especially in Ginny's character, but I think they say it because they think that believing the opposite would be naive or something of the sort.
When I was Ginny's age I had two friends who both had been with their respecting boyfriends for a year. One had done all that one can do and the other had never yet felt ready to do anything of relevance.
When you are fifteen being in a relationship for some months doesn't really mean automatically anything, and whatever Ginny hypothetically did or didn't do would absolutely be her own business. But seeing that we need to find an answer let's examine her personality and relationship with Dean.
Ginny has an enormous trauma linked to opening up to someone she shouldn't have trusted. She doesn't trust easily and she is very guarded as a person.
She gives importance to touch. Harry and Ginny share a love language that is mainly based on looks and touches. For her physical affection bears meaning.
She is a romantic. Ginny's character is based on the combination between a quite harsh side and a very sweet one. A lot of people like to ignore this, because apparently a woman having a full spectrum of emotions is too much for their brains, but Ginny can be very sweet. She is in love with the legend of a hero, she writes love poems, she makes singing get-well cards, she decorates lavishly her house for Christmas, she goes around with a purple pigmy puff, and more importantly, she never really gave up on Harry.
Now her relationship with Dean. It seems to be better than the one with Michael but the good days don't last that much. They got together at the end of her fourth year and didn't see each other for a whole summer, so they basically started dating in September, by Christmas they were already having problems. And in regards to physical touch, there's never any indication of Ginny being particularly affectionate with Dean outside the snogging context and she seems unnerved by the small gestures she's instead so comfortable within her relationship with Harry.
In conclusion, Ginny didn't sleep with Dean. Shocking revelation, I know.
It's made pretty clear in the books that Harry is the one person she allows to break into her emotional sphere something that is also reflected in how she is way more comfortable when touch comes from him rather than Dean. She is also a romantic, someone who would give value to her first time. When you consider all this, combined with the fact that she never gave up on Harry, the answer is clear. It's not like she was 25 and worried she would die a virgin with a hundred cats. She not only would've wanted her first time to be with Harry but he also was the only one she would've been comfortable enough with.
Did Harry and Ginny sleep together in HBP?
JKR is a great writer from several points of view but world buildings and timelines are definitely not her strong suit.
There's a bit of a problem when it comes down to understanding how long Harry and Ginny dated in HBP. The match should be on the 10th of May, or even if not precisely that day, it was still the start of May and from DH we know that Dumbledore died on the 30th of June. This would mean that they dated for more or less seven weeks.
But Harry talks about a few weeks in the break-up scene. Now, I'm not an English native speaker but when I read "few weeks" my brain understands something like three, maybe four weeks? Seeing the context maybe we can interpret it as simply Harry saying that it was not enough, or maybe it just sounded more poetic that "not even two months"?
Anyway, depending on how we want to settle this problem we can discuss how further they went but they didn't sleep together. There's no way in hell that these two would ever do that before saying "I love you", which we know didn't happen. But more importantly, if we read the scene of the kiss from DH, Harry says she was kissing him like never before, if they had sex I doubt he would've said that.
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